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The Losses

Opening my eyes after the aftermath is pretty difficult to say the least. The voices of “I told you so” come to mind, the pictures in my mind from all the events that lead to the big decision and reactions of those around me, “I am transitioning”, “I was born in the wrong body” words … Continue reading

Living Life After Detransitioning :The Early Stages

It has been two weeks since I have fully detransitioned and feel, well, fantastic. I am fully embracing my truth, and disregarding the untruth that lead my life for the past 13 years. There are lots of logistics to work through, like changing all my documents and return to my rightful birth name Maritza, but … Continue reading

Turning The Pages: Welcome Back

Just as the moment of death when your life flashes before you, I feel that’s where I am at, at this moment in time.  I transitioned in 2003, had quite the journey and paved my path, yet,  in the end, I found out that what I did solved absolutely nothing. I am no more a … Continue reading

Breaking Down Gender Dysphoria

  So what is this condition that all of a sudden has swept our world? Why all of a sudden are our youth, children and middle aged adults claiming to be born in the wrong body? What an interesting concept and illusion. A person who has raised children, lived happily married and showed no signs … Continue reading

The Pain: A Day Of Giving Thanks

  Having been around, dated and lived with many transgender females in the past, it has provided me a with information that many are not privy to. Many of these so called Male to Trans are dealing with deep rooted issues that stem from lack of self worth, anger and frustration. They failed as men, … Continue reading

Transsexualism Is An Addiction

    When we step out of the normal balance of life there are many things that happen. One of these things is called imbalance, the typical state of disease. The world we live in is filled with synthetics, the behavior we engage in is unnatural and the things we do and crave are very … Continue reading

Looking Back

  The way to learn from our mistakes and heal is to analyze our life and the path we have chosen. Many people might want to call it regret, I like to call it growth. Sometimes we think one way in a certain stage of our lives, and then we find our views change as … Continue reading

Relationships And Healing

My parents divorced and I am now left to pick up the pieces and the start of a new life.  I had so many relationships, trying to find my identity and place in the world. All relationships were with females, yet, I could not be placed in a box, was I butch or was I … Continue reading

Secrets Unfolding

  Well, where was I? Ah yes, I was telling you about my hang ups during childhood,  being cross eyed, having self hatred, suffering from loneliness and not being able to fit in, because of all of my “differences”while growing up.  I might as well have said I was from Mars, oh wait, I did … Continue reading

The Shadows

  Ever since I was a little kid, I always felt I did not belong. I had problems making friends, and I almost felt as if I was the parent, in my home. Don’t get me wrong, my parents tried, all good parents do, they are just not equipped at times and never received the … Continue reading