//
you're reading...
awakening, detransition, education, gender variant, trans issues

Healing The Wounds

 

This time of year is a very hard time for many of us in the LGBT Community, as well as for those who have lost a love one or are separated from their families, for some reason or another.

I will be heading to Florida for the holidays, a 30 hour drive, since I am not fond of airplanes, especially during this time of year. I will get to meet my first and only nephew, my younger brother and his wife recently had a baby boy, and I am looking forward to holding him in my arms. I have been pretty estranged from my family since my transition, they have accepted me now, but some how Mark has always felt foreign to my family, it is a weird feeling, as if they weren’t my family, I can’t really explain it, but the coming home for Christmas will be a healing, a reuniting of sorts, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I want to tell my mother that she was right, I want to apologize for all the pain I have caused them, and make peace where there was once war.

I know how important it is for trans individuals to feel family love after their transitioning, but many in the community do not realize that it is not an easy task, that even if they accept you, there is this deep pain that never goes away, we killed the one they loved and replaced it with a stranger.  It takes time, and even after many years, the dynamics are never the same.

I am looking forward to seeing my younger sister who identifies as a lesbian, we were very close before my transition, had a rocky patch afterwards, but then we resumed our relationship, but I am sure it was not the same for her. I appreciated the love she continued to give me as Mark, but I can’t wait to hug her and give her, her sister back, something I am sure she longed for.

As I have mentioned before on many of my entries, we are not the only victims here, in fact the victims are our love ones, they are the ones that had no clue as we ripped apart their hearst when we killed the one they love. I know, I know, many don’t think so, but this is how I see it, we can’t expect people to be onboard with our reality.

Healing is essential for growth and one of the reasons, I believe, we are here on earth, to evolve and grow as spirit beings.  I am looking forward to this Holiday season, to have my family meet Lynna my spouse, and hope the day comes where I can meet her family, everything in due time, patience is an important factor for growth. We are here to evolve, let us not forget that, let us not fall for our own self pity and hurt, step outside of self and be a spectator, then and only then can you see the paradigm you are in, and hopefully learn the lessons you are here to learn.

I will be taking a sabbatical from blogging, spending time with my family, showing Lynna around South Florida and just enjoying the holidays, I may do a few videos so check in on my  You Tube Channel

I hope all of you have an amazing Holiday and New Years, I love you, but remember to love yourselves too.

 

Maritza Cummings

Advertisements

About Mark Angelo Cummings

Maritza/Mark is walking the path of healing, she/he is a broadcaster, musician, writer, and educator. As a Certified Nutritional Consultant, Master Personal Trainer and Occupational Therapist, she/he has taken wellness one step further. Check out our website http://www.gypsybluenomads.com/ Follow our journey: The Travels of 2 Truth Seeker and Their Car

Discussion

4 thoughts on “Healing The Wounds

  1. Hello; I am interested in how your physical health is and how you manage it without testosterone when you mentioned you don’t produce estrogen (post-hysterectomy?) I’ve read about possible bone density loss, fatigue, physical weakness, etc., etc. Thank you.

    Like

    Posted by Ben | January 4, 2016, 6:12 pm
  2. Congratulations for your retransition 🙂
    I knew you on youtube, I saw some videos of yours, but I did not imagine that you were going to transition again! 🙂
    One question: by chance, do you know if ayahuasca therapy can be healing for who has trans issues? Can it make know the root of his/her problems?
    I searched but I did not find that can be useful… I found that can enhanced the mismatch although :/

    Like

    Posted by Marshall | January 5, 2016, 7:16 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: