It seems like forever since I last wrote a blog. I am happy to report that after much searching and hitting several brick walls, Lynna and I finally found a place to call our home. I am originally from Florida, but since the last 2 years I have been away, so much has changed, and that includes the rental situations. The soaring prices and scams made it almost impossible to rent a place, we ended up staying in hotels paying exuberant prices in areas that were less than acceptable and found ourselves almost rethinking our move.
For starters we had to rent a storage to place our belongings in fear of having our car vandalized and after a typical down pore and weather system, our little Trixie (we named our car I know, lol) got soaked due to the compromised rubber seals from the carrier we had placed on her, attached by ratchet straps, which led to expediting our need for a storage unit until we found home. It took us around 10 days to find a home that would be affordable, safe, and to pass all stringent back ground and credit checks. It is not easy to rent any more, in fact it is much easier to buy now than it is to rent.
So you ask did you not have a place lined up before heading to Florida? Well we did and it fell through, we did not like the rental arrangement we had made with a craigslist listing, lets just say, he was not to our liking as far as being neat and organized. It’s hard to share a home with someone who does not have the same idea of what tidy is. So off to a hotel we went, I must say the prices in Florida are extremely expensive compared to the other places we had stayed while getting here, the average was around 100 dollars and they were dives. At first we stayed near the Fort Lauderdale Airport at a Red Carpet Inn which we were not pleased with at all, so needless to say we only stayed there for 3 days paying a total of $416.00. Then we stayed at the Rodeway Inn for 7 days paying $630.00, add it up, we payed in 10 days what we pay in a month in our last rental in Silver City.
We saw over 30 rentals during that time, got a realtor and did some leg work ourselves, using all sorts of rental apps, dealt with several scams, so much so that the legit place we did find, we thought was a scam too, and even after we got approved, we felt leery and anxious. It wasn’t until we signed the lease and got the key in our hands and saw that it was really ours, that we breathed easy and realized that we had finally found our home. During this time, the stress, fear and worry with all the money we were spending almost lead us to think about other places other than Florida. But what is that saying, good things come to those who wait, and I am glad we were persistent.
From all the stress and having to be in touch with my masculine energy, I came to a realization that I can’t ever throw Mark away, now it became clear why I created him in the first place. He is just as much part of me as Maritza is, the constant fight to get rid of all of the secondary characteristics I developed in the past 13 years will never go away, no matter what I do. In fact the amount of money it will take for me to get rid of all my body and facial hair and to create hair on my head would make it virtually impossible for me to de transition in the sense of the word. It takes a lot of energy to try to fight what my body now does naturally, my voice, my features and my essence are all innate and as I learn from this experience, needed. I married Lynna as a man, all my documents, credit and established character is based on Mark. I have learn to make peace with who I am, I am both a woman and a man, I can’t fight my true nature, and if society has a problem with that, well it’s their problem, not mine. So you ask are you not detransitioning then, lets say, detransitioning has helped me see so many things, I have grown and learn to appreciate every part of me. I am now ready to live my life and help others live theirs. I am Mark, I am Maritza, call me what makes you feel comfortable, see me as you wish, I am good with me.
The Journey continues, I am still reinventing me, learning with each passing day. I know I can’t please everyone, but I am here to live my life and to just be me.
Love you all