Hello everyone it has been a minute since I last wrote a blog entry. There has been lots of healing work in my life, from my relationship, my body, mind and spirit. Being a human takes lots of work, it’s not all about collecting material things or competing with the Joneses. Life is a 24 hour job, even when we sleep we work to heal the many issues we have created during many lifetimes, our work is never done, even in our dream state.
I find that most people have been programmed to believe that they will get saved if they accept a man named Jesus, who some believe is God, who promised to return and who died on a cross for us. Now, I respect everyones opinion and belief system, however, I cannot follow such simple scenarios, nor do I agree that life is all about having babies, working, making others rich, and submitting self to a religion to prevent going to a place that doesn’t exist. I believe our creator is a bit more intelligent and less narcissistic than Men have made it out to be.
Since my retransitioning I have worked on many emotional baggage, learning about being aspergery, and how I can understand my brain more, it’s quite the lesson to go inward and open self for healing. Most people just want to hide, run away and ignore the real issues, and boy are there. Gender dysphoria is not even the problem, it’s just one of the many issues we face, that those of us who I like to call neurologically eccentric deal with. I know there are many who disagree with me, and prefer not to go there, and that’s okay, we are all on different levels of self actualization. But I feel that if I share my views, life and challenges, it may help someone else with theirs.
So what have I learn in the past year? I have learn that events that took place from childhood developed lots of my behaviors, I will not label them good or bad, they are just behaviors that could be seen as coping mechanisms. I know one thing, many in our community are not able to cope, in fact we create situations that allow us to run from things, and many habits stem from the fleeting behavior. Again, not labeling them good or bad, just behaviors. I have learn that the more we resist something, the more it persists, without awareness, there cannot be change or healing. Opening up to self, allows you to be truthful to others, and running or numbing solves nothing, it only makes our behavior more bizarre, not in a bad or good way, just different, remember it is our way of coping.
I wanted to share that healing is different for everyone, sometimes it comes in increments, other times in massive waves, but you know you are healing when things are not as magnified as before, and when you are able to look within without feeling so much pain. Relationships are the greatest healing tools ever, you see yourself in your partner, they are a mirror of you, and the best way to know how you are inside is to look at the one you love with empathy, instead of judgment, it does not come easy, because we have been taught to judge and run.
As an Aspy, we see the world very different, our brains do not function the same as other brains, once you learn this your life will be easier.
Till next time, eat healthy, breathe freely, move, laugh and love.