I just got a aha moment: “Society and the expectations they have on you as an individual, no matter what gender you are, is what causes gender dysphoria. People who do not fit into societies box, feel pushed into looking a certain way. This is why trans people do what they do at all cost, because who they feel inside is told by society that is not okay to feel or be. So what do we do? We try to create what we feel inside on the outside”.
Well let me tell you this, gender is not felt, expression and emotions are. There is no feeling of being a woman or a man, we just feel emotions, these emotions do not translate into physical appearances, hence why those that transition, still feel a void.
The stress of being seen as something you may never achieve is what is killing trans people, the constant need to blend in, fit in and hide is the cause of the dysphoria, if it takes so much to cover up then I say give it up.
Lynna has been going through the typical growing pains that most trans identified go through as they navigate their world and try to make sense of all of it. This is a post she added to her wall:
“I hear it often asked:
Your are a trans woman, what does being a woman mean to you? Many in this community would answer with gendered stereotypes, this is what I would say…
I would say that I honestly do not know what being a woman is like because I was not actually born female. In order to truly know what it is like to be a woman, you first have to grow into becoming one, no male born individual will ever know what that is truly like.
Being a female is many things to many of those people who are born with that biological distinction. It runs the gamut of all types of females who are born with that type of physical anatomy.
There is the stereotype that has been created by our patriarchal society which likes to specify what being a woman looks like but it falls precipitously short in describing what all women naturally just know in their hearts to be true for them. Women just are, men just are.
Gender comes in many colors, shapes and forms and yes, men are very much visual. They think that women are a certain way and most transwomen seek desperately to fulfill that limited and misogynistic stereotype.
Many of them think that if they don’t get big breasts (As if all women have big breasts anyway?) and have a super model like figure (which most women don’t care to have) that they won’t be seen as a woman. A woman must like shopping, clothes, makeup, is super chatty and loves to take selfies and drinks lots of wine while eating lots of chocolate.
I am sure that women know that that is simply not true. Some women are fiercely independent, some natural born leaders and others are followers, they are strong but some are weak, they laugh and they cry but most of all they are simply human.
The real question is what is it like to be human? Who has that answer? I, for one know that being feminine and being masculine are not sexed distinctions but rather, they are wrapped up into the definition of being human. When we separate personality traits and behaviors into one of two categories we end up hurting and limiting everyone from being free to just be. So be feminine, be masculine, be both, be anything in between. Just know this, being you is all that you can really be”.
People are confused as to why we return to being gender critical and why our views tend to swing back and forth, and all around frankly. Well my answer is the only constant in life is change, and as long as we are growing as a couple and individually, expect change, for even the ocean has good days and bad days. To be human is to evolve, if you want to grow that is.
Till next time