13 years of my life has passed by, I feel as if I have been living a different life from the life I was meant to live. I rebelled against all the rules society created, girls are meant to be pretty, wear dresses, be subservient, quiet and yes weak. Don’t do this, do that, act like a lady, shave your legs, put some make up on, why are you so fat? I hear these words still to this day, even after my reflection in the mirror changed in 2003, where I learned about transsexuality and how I can fix my problem, the problem of self hatred, lack of self worth and how I can now be the stronger sex and my mannerisms, actions and attire will be seen as “right”.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to our binary world, a world that will create personality disordered individuals, narcissistic in every aspect of the word, angered and self consumed, with the need to control the world and make it as we see fit. No one wants to admit they have a problem, it’s everyone else’s fault, but of course, we were born wrong, right? Wrong, after years of living “this way”, the hairy body, the muscles, the deep voice, the enlarge clitoris, 13 years of post hysterectomy and bilateral mastectomy, the body that I once thought was diseased is actually the wrong body now. I am not a man, never have been never will be. I fell for the Koolaid and all of the trimmings.
I have tried to detransition, live and married a trans identified individual, who also suffers, as it’s lead to believe, that this condition is so terrible that it will devastate you and your life. The fact is we lived prior to this, and yes we got ridiculed for being to masculine, non lady like, Lynna for being to soft spoken, cried about everything and was fascinated with fabrics, a typical neurological condition for those who are amazed with touching things and feeling them on their bodies. We were born different and our difference was seen as weakness or displaced from the “norm”, so due to this we tried to “fix” it by changing to the gender our actions best fit.
Recovery is very hard in the world we live in, people are now applauding the trans agenda, because they much prefer that over an effeminate man, or a butchie woman, because documentations have to match your appearance of either a man or a woman, or you can go to jail for impersonating the other gender, this leads to people having to alter their bodies to justify their expressions, this is dead wrong and should be prosecuted to the letter of the law. When is society going to get it, the more you push against gender variant people the more conditions will arise. All the new technologies, new way of thinking is creating more and more problems for our society, men need more responsibilities to keep them out of trouble, to keep them from cross dreaming and spending their time fantasizing about being a female, and women, need to accept the fact that they can be strong, and unassuming, they can be subservient to their man if she pleases or not, the family is falling apart, we are losing all of our morals and traditions, and I believe it is all based on lack of integration of our inner most making. Take a look at our show that we did last night, we explain a lot of the integration of our Anima and Animus.
What breaks my heart are the victims of our actions, our parents, our kids, those who are married and force their love ones to see this as normal, here are links to some trans widows and souls whose life have been turned upside down.
So as the titled mentions, I am a recovering trans addict, the years of Testosterone in my system has created many changes, changes I don’t necessarily like anymore, it gets old playing this game after the years. But what can I do now? The system is set up for transitioning, not at all for detransitioning. I want nothing more than to help others realize the dangerous waters they are embarking on when they try to transition, its not at all what it appears. Trans people are no happier after transition, there is a euphoric and honeymoon phase, but once that wears out and all of the health issues start to kick in, well lets put it this way, its not pretty. Sex is none negotiable, gender is but personality, so we should be free to express away, without living this pipe dream and creating such permanent changes that will forever scar you. Please, please, let us help society change the way they look at those of us who are different, so we don’t have to do these crazy things.
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Till Next Time