As many of you who have been following me, I have been wanting to detransition since last year, never once did I even think this thought would cross my mind, but I fell in love with a man, a man who got injured, was broken and very confused when he entered my life. This man had many issues that led him to his path of thinking he was a woman ( a condition that I feel stems from childhood traumas, holes that are created through out our lives that allow the darkness to enter our deepest part in our soul, destroying the person and creating another). The demons that take the opportunity to enter you do so through your weaknesses and broken nature. Jezabel and Nemrod, are sleek, patient and will create their plan of action, implanting themselves in your consciousness, creating the idea that you are not worthy, are born wrong and need to change. These demons love to take hold of your body, thoughts and life. They will destroy you, and everything around you. Just look at the lives of those who are gender confused and seek to “align” themselves, they are victim of their traumas, and gave free entry to those rejection demons that know exactly what to do or say and to seek permanent residency in you, you the host that will lose your self. A trans like state that will lead you to transition and you will lose your soul.
I believe what happened to Paul and I, is nothing short of a miracle. Jezabel had her tentacles deeply in Paul, but I knew that eventually his inner voice, and the voice of God would touch his heart again. I had been struggling seeing Pauls struggles, I was trying to be patient, and just love him, although sometimes the demon in him made it so hard to do so. But every time I felt I was going to walk away, the thought of losing him, made me stay. I saw so much potential in this man, who was hell bent to think he was a woman. I saw how much he suffered trying to create this illusion, and how he would not back down, no matter what was said. He contradicted himself, he battled the demon, but she continued to dig deeper into him. It was this Friday that I could not bare it anymore, I yelled out to God, not in a literal form, but I went deep into my heart and connected with him, and pleaded to help Paul, to help Paul return so that he can be part of his families life again. Those 5 wonderful children who have been heart broken, his mother, friends, all devastated when they saw this spiritual man turn to Satan all to pursue the desire of one of Satan’s demons who had a tremendous hold on him. The next day, Paul ask me if I minded listening to Christian Music, I said no I didnt mind please do. We spent that entire day watching worship videos, and I felt the Holy Spirit for the first time in our home. I saw this amazing glow in my man, a man that had been doomed and lost for 3 years. Paul broke down and went on his knees asking for forgiveness, he cried like a baby, a way I had never seen him do before. I cried to, I held him and for the first time I felt hope that everything was going to be alright.
We then proceed to talk about what just happened and the talk of detransitioning began, before we knew it, it was set in stone. We had one last encounter Sunday night after coming home from a Marlins game and my sister place, were we experience Satan hard at work, he was not pleased and we felt the darkness loom all over us during my sisters visit, we got home and I felt Jezabel trying to dig in again. I stood up held Paul and in a stern voice I demanded Jezabel to leave his body, I spoke to Paul’s heart and said you are too much of a man to let go to waste, you are worthy, you are loved, I need you, your children need you and God wants you home. All of a sudden we felt peace, Paul looked at me, and said she is gone babe, she is finally gone. I held him, and for the first time in our 2 years, I believed him. God worked a miracle in our lives, and we want the world to know that God is alive, that people can change.
I get a giggle seeing a man who once had dysphoria about hair on his face, which he spent thousands of dollars trying to get rid of, rejoice to feel the stubbles growing in, he has this new an amazing attitude about him, a person who was always depressed, he is alive and well. My man has been restored. He is incredibly happy, and can’t wait to make things right with God, his family and to help others heal as well. We want to help those who have been hurt and silenced. We want to help those in the trans community who want to free themselves from their demon. God is powerful, God is gracious, God is pure love, and yes he loves all of you, but he wants you to love yourself too, and loving yourself is accepting who you were born as, not something you think you should be.