I have been wanting to detransition or should I say just be myself since last year, but the circumstances with Paul and I were not in alignment at the time, so I decided to wait till he was ready to take this journey back with me. This time around it feels amazing, we are both doing it together and I could not be happier. It seems very natural and we are both like teenagers, falling in love all over again, loving each other beyond measure, I never knew I could love and be loved so much.
I have never had a real relationship with a man, and for the first time in my life I feel normal and complete. I believe it took years to work through all of my childhood traumas and issues that prevented me to trust men, and now it allows me to feel free to love the sex I was intended to fall in love with. Having been with woman all of my life and a few trans women this relationship and marriage to Paul is the best thing ever. I am excited about the years to come, to grow old with my one and only true love, and to share the many wonderful things that lie ahead, getting to know my step kids, life feels so different now, I feel complete.
The road back will take some work, patience, forgiveness and lots of self love. Living as a trans guy created lots of scars, lots of body and facial hair, and a bald head. My voice is deep and my mannerisms on the masculine side. At 52 years old, I am not sure how my body will react to these changes, having had a bilateral mastectomy, and a total hysterectomy and being on Testosterone for the past 13 years, the changes are deep and long but my desire to return to me will no doubt get me there and it will be well worth it.
I have much hair to get off my body and face, I began laser treatment to remove the dreaded hairs that feels like a curse on my body. A curse for doing what I did, the years on male hormones have disfigured the woman that I was born to be.
The journey back has just begun, but I am grateful for being where I am today, to have found the love of my life and to be returning back.
I will be taking you with us, seeing our return home and our incredible life and love
Paul is in need of a sun tan to cover up the affects of wearing a bathing suit during the loss of sanity during the time a man thought he could be a woman. We can laugh about it now, but what in the world was he thinking.
Till Next Time