Let us get to the root of this conversation and explanation of why my heart is on fire for God. I have never been an atheist per say but was pretty turned off by religion and much of what I felt back then as bigotry and hate. Many people look at me now and see me as that bigot I use to hate, those Christians I use to criticize, they feel I have become them. Well let me explain, I wish no one any ill, I will not send anyone to hell, that is not my job, my job is to love you and bring the word of God to you. I sometimes may not use the greatest tactics or find the best words to explain it, I am human. But I do know the gravity of the situation, hell is real, and our souls will face judgment one day. Because I love you so very much and I have walked in your shoes, I feel qualified to address many of the situations we have in common. My background is the same background that most in the LGBT community have had to deal with. Child abuse, molestation, lack of stability, self-worth, self-hate and just feeling different. All of these factors lead us to make wrong choices as adults and lead us down a path of temptation.
If we can agree on one thing, that should be that the LGBT lifestyle is not the norm, nor is it the path that pleases God. If we really remove our veils and bare down to the innermost naked part of our souls, we can agree that it is not the path of truth and salvation. I know, I know, most don’t care, they feel they are who they are, and how dare anyone to tell them otherwise, but the truth of the matter is God created men for women and women for men, as well as the knowledge of good and evil, the facts are that we are not to mess with our temple for our own pleasure and corruption, but instead we are to please our creator by living life in spirit consciousness and not of the flesh. Now getting all that out of the way, God loves you no matter what, but he does want you to return to the path of righteousness and sin no more. God has his reasons why he creates laws, he knows what he wants and he wants you whole and pure. We were born of sin, yes, but we are here to learn to rid ourselves of these sins and make ourselves light and pure.
I want us to be a source of love and education about the word of God to those in the LGBT community, I want people to see that you can be happy living in the form God intended you to live. Fun and happiness are not our soul purpose in life, we are here to please God, he created us for that reason, to work on our spirit and not be so focused on the materialistic aspect of the world. The devil will use the materialistic realm for his advantage, to push us further away from God. Anyway, I can only share my experience and what has happened to me since I found God, or should I say, since God was never lost, it was me who was, that I am now found and walking on the right path. I am no better than you, and your sins don’t make you unlovable, on the contrary, God can use you too. He loves to use the broken to do his work, it creates amazing testimonies that heal us, and allow others to heal too. After all that is why we are here, to make ourselves lighter and free from the chains of this world. So I ask to please give God a chance, let him in your heart and follow him, he is the way, the truth and the only real source of love and happiness.
How I feel today:
I am dealing with a lot of naysayers who continue to want to place me in a male box and saying that I can’t de transition because I am too far along. Well, this is what I have to say to them, my body is a female body, I was born a baby girl, my chromosomes are XX and my DNA is that of a female. So when you all say this, it just points to the direction that men can’t ever be women because of their secondary characteristics, and thats true you can’t be a woman if you are a man. But with me, the truth of the matter is that I was born a girl, I will die a woman, even with all the masculinization that hormones did on me. In fact, there are women who naturaly have high androgen levels are and are pretty manly looking, but are still female.
I am certain that my body will return to normal. I may, in fact, have some traces of masculinization left from the testosterone use, which happens to most women as they get older, since women start to produce androgen as they age, but I have no problem living with this, after all, it was all my doing.
My health is good, I am 52 years old, weigh 126 pounds and am in pretty decent physical and mental health, even after all of the wounds I have had to sustain from the paths I have chosen. The time to heal is now, and I am grateful to God for have given me this opportunity to redeem myself.
it’s been over a month since I stopped taking T, my energy level is good, I train 5 to 6 days a week with weights, focusing on my core, flexibility, functional activities and a real good diet that feeds not only my body but my soul. So far I am inclined on not going on HRT due to my age and knowing that after 50 years of age women do not need estrogen, the amount their adrenal glands produce is sufficient for health. I eat non-GMO soy products, eat lots of greens and veggies, I stay away from meat and chicken, simple sugars and fortify with minerals and vitamins that my body can’t produce on its own.
I am grateful for where I am today, and I am looking forward to the future, I have love in my life, and the most important thing of all is, I have God in my heart, he has made everything new.
I continue to use the theradome https://www.theradome.com/page/homepage and will see how things go, I might need to do a hair transplant in the long run, or just continue to use bandanas and hats, after all, it’s not about vanity, it’s about sanity and self-acceptance. It’s about placing my sights on God, on being a good person, helping others reflect and find their way, it’s about loving my neighbor as I love myself. The more I love the creation God made, the more I get to love my brothers and sisters, the more I love God the more I grow as a human being.
Till Next Time