The reason we are alive on this planet is to grow and learn from the many situations we face on a daily basis. How can we know who we truly are if we don’t take risks, travel different paths and experiment with lives wonderful choices? Life can be like one giant buffet, where our senses are enticed by the many colors, flavors, and presentations, all for our taking.
The past 2 months our journey took us into the Christian realm where I personally learned why I never really liked Christianity in the first place. There are broken people telling broken people what they can and cannot do, we were preaching the same mantra as they were preached to us before we became full on Christian. The God that I knew before was a loving God, a creator that had more faith in his creation and gave us the room to explore life and just be, just like a good parent does with their children in most cases that is. However, there are parents that have this need to fully control their child, this actually creates a life of suffering and mental issues for them. Many in the Christian community are really hurting and think that finding a dose of Jesus is going to fix them, when they soon learn that their problems are still there, only now they are filled with more guilt, remorse, anger, and placing their focus on finding other broken people to tell them how wrong they are, just as we did to others ourselves.
I find that Christianity resembles the 12 step program, they tear you up, bring you down, making you feel like you are the lowest scum of the earth and without Jesus, you cannot exist. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jesus, I really do, but I have a healthy normal relationship with him now, not some co-dependent/ dependant abnormal overboard relationship, which Christianity teaches. The women whose husband are not as loving towards them, or the ones that are alone, are told that their love now is Jesus, creating a really creepy scenario if you ask me. Many believe they are the bride of Jesus, but what most won’t tell you is that they are still doing the same old behavior of masturbation, having sex out of wedlock and watching porn like it’s going out of business.
So what did I learn from all of this? Well, that I really don’t like religion and that spirituality, real spirituality, is what I am attracted to. I love Jesus’s message, in fact, I don’t regret learning more about him, being baptized, and getting to listen to some really cool Christian Artist and watching some really great Christian films. The concept behind it can be good, and there is a lot of good things about it, but then there are the Christians, the ones who are broken and find it really appropriate to utilize it as a tool of manipulation and judgment, it makes them feel better about themselves. We met some really cool people, who are loving and very Christ-like and for that, I will forever be grateful, but then there are those that are so broken, that the only way they can deal with life is to follow really strict guidelines and rules of which the book they follow is really good at. I find God speaks to my heart, he has always, the verses and scriptures really never spoke to me, I find they are repetitive, ancient, none practical and do not solve the real problems people have.
So where does that leave us? We are still Spiritual followers of Christ, I am a woman with a trans history, who has had many alterations done by Testosterone and surgeries that will never allow me to show in appearance who I use to be. Paul is a very feminine expressing guy, who prefers being on the passenger seat than to be the one driving the bus. I am alpha and enjoy being the driver, so we will not fight our true nature and essence, we are good with whom we are and that is a happy heterosexual couple who are eccentric in every way. We will not judge anyone, the big guy in the sky is there for that, we will continue to educate, share our never boring life with you and continue to seek the truth, that’s what truth seekers do. Our life is like a book, with every chapter we grow and learn. There are no mistakes there is only experience and growth, I cannot live a life where I am told that I need to just alter my essence and the solution for that is keep your eyes on Jesus, I believe that Jesus has become this token or product that many are cashing in on, but no one really gets fully redeemed, it’s just like a never ending story, like groundhog day, where every day you struggle to beat away who you truly are. That, in my opinion, makes no sense.
Till Next Time