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awakening, gender variant, trans issues, Uncategorized

Clarifications And My Reality

 

numerology-life-paths

So I wanted to take this time to explain the events that have taken place in the past 2 years of my life. Many of you have known me for quite a while, I have been a trans advocate since 2004 and have done many great things for this community. I was married to a wonderful woman, who in hindsight, I should have probably remained married to, but my quest for something better, lead me to the many poor choices I made since then.

Not to take away from any of the relationships and now marriage that I have had since, but I feel my life was so much more stable then than what it is now.  Let’s look closer at what has taken place since being with Lynna, my now current spouse. Lynna is a very double-minded individual, she has been her entire life, I, on the other hand, have been pretty concrete in my decision making, hard worker, inventive and have pursued many creative endeavors in my life. My transition went pretty smooth, even though I was very much a pioneer setting the way for many, nonetheless, it all went well, and I must say that I created the man that I set out to create. I had never in a million years ever thought about de-transitioning, I loved being who I was, and am.  Ever since Lynna came into my life it has been filled with challenges and baggage, none of which are mine. I was living stress-free in a little town in New Mexico, enjoying my quiet life and peace.

Those that have been following Lynna’s life and mine have seen what has transpired and have experienced the hurt she felt for not having her kids in her life which have created lots of issues and distress, as well as other childhood traumas which I blame her Christianity for. I attempted to de-transition 3 times since being with her, all to favor the acceptance of her family, and of course, none of which ever became possible, and in the end, it has just left me distraught and warn out.  I put myself through painful laser treatments which did not fully remove my facial hair but now has created a patchy look, something I never really had to think about, my beard just grew and it grew well.  In addition, loss muscle mass and have set my hormonal profile in a spin.

 

Furthermore, I was always in good standing with the trans and gay community, with the exception of the time I had Cathy Brenan on my show, but other than that, the community loved me and I loved them. Well since Lynna and her constant inner battles, lead her to battle with others, and I of course like an idiot went along with those battles, protecting the honor of my wife, it seems that we have created turmoil with everyone. I must say that it has been quite the eventful roller coaster ride, and someone how I have a feeling that the ride is not over.  I can only hope that she settles in, starts to fully love herself, stops worrying about what other people think of her, and finally starts to see life beyond her needs. I know that those who transition become consumed with their transition, I have been there, but there comes a time when life must go on, and the transition is left behind while one learns to live.

I am patiently waiting, since I do love her, and think she has a good heart, she is a bit confused and sometimes her mind can be her worse enemy, but I do hope that the time and energy that I have invested in her pays off. I have never really loved anyone as I love her, and I feel deep inside that we can be happy if she just learns to live, be happy and to let go of what is beyond her control. Living in the past or always looking for more, somehow does not allow you to appreciate what you do have and to see that in the end, all we have is the now. She has taught me patience, how to love unconditionally and to appreciate the now. A lesson I wish I could have learned before, but then, my experience with Lynna would have never happened and who knows where my life would have been now.  I don’t want to take away from the good times she and I have shared in between all of the complications that came with her past life, inner turmoils, and lack of self-love and acceptance. We work well when her mental health and clarity is in alignment, but when she goes into that dark place, then Huston we have problems. There have been times when I just want to walk away, but then I would be like everyone else in her life who has bailed on her when she has needed them the most. I promised to love her through sickness and in health, and that is what I intend to do, till death do us part.

Till Next Time

Mark Angelo

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About Mark Angelo Cummings

Mark Angelo Cummings is a spiritual soul and a follower of "The Christ Consciousness", a broadcaster, musician, writer, and educator. As a Certified Nutritional Consultant, Master Personal Trainer and Occupational Therapist, he has taken wellness one step further. Check out our website http://www.gypsybluenomads.com/ Follow our journey: The Travels of 2-Two Spirited Nomads and Their Car

Discussion

7 thoughts on “Clarifications And My Reality

  1. Really?lynna wrote me a fake check. She needs to be a father to her 5 kids lol

    Like

    Posted by Lissal | November 28, 2016, 2:46 am
    • Who are you? I have not written any fake checks, that is a bold-faced lie. In hindsight, I should have never posted anything with regards to the pain of losing my children all because I am trans. Believe me though, I have tried to be a part of their lives but they refuse to. At this point in time, I know that I have made mistakes along the way, everyone makes mistakes, we are all just human after all. I would just ask kindly that you back off of the father/kid thing. My kids are my business and they are being taken care of. You don’t give a shit about me or my kids, or else you would not have said what you did. I have always been an honest person and especially when it came to paying people. I do not remember bouncing a check to anyone, you can please remind me if I did. Instead you choose to be rude and hurtful and accusatory. In the end, what does it benefit you to say that about me? It certainly does not hurt me as much as it used to, so you missed out on reaping the intent of your little blurb here on my husband’s blog. That has no place on this blog, if you have a problem with me, have some guts and confront me about it. My email is easy to find, twitter, fb, YouTube or whatever. I guess that you’d rather be a coward about it and hide behind your anonymity. It’s nothing new, people like you are like a cancer, you like to spread and multiply your hate towards more people. I choose to love you, I forgive you, you need love as much as I do. I hope that you find it.

      Like

      Posted by Lynna Cummings | November 29, 2016, 2:52 pm
    • Lissal, I would really appreciate if you keep comments that are not useful or truthful out of my blog. First of all, you have no clue what goes on in our life, only what we let the public know. The comment that she needs to be a father to those kids is not only rude but none of your business. We tried to be part of those kids lives but to no avail. You see no one sees the full picture here. Lynna has been trying desperately to be in those kids lives, yet the mother, the true villain here has done everything in her power to prevent that from happening. The only thing that she takes from us, is our money, other than that, she wants nothing to do with us. So those kids want nothing to do with their father or stepmom, thanks to the poisoning their mom has spread in them regarding their father and me.

      Who do you think you are any way to even remotely entertain such comment? Hiding behind some anonymous profile, come on now have some cojones at least. If you have something constructive to say, something with meaning, I welcome it, but this BS, does not belong on my blog.

      Like

      Posted by Mark Angelo Cummings | November 29, 2016, 4:01 pm
  2. Another blame fest by Mark Cummings, the narcissistic pig who blames everything on everyone else. Gaslighting your wife mark? Stay classy. What amazes me is that she continues to go along with it, and she continues to go along with your attempts to force her to de transition. How did your suaree with the evangelical Christians work for you mark? did they too see through your bullshit? Everybody saw through your bullshit, mark. Let’s not attempt to gaslight an entire community. remember, I still hold your name in the palm of my hand. If you persist on your attempts to gaslight an entire community, I will continue my resistance to your efforts. Don’t think for one minute that you are anything resembling welcome back to a community you attempted to destroy.

    Like

    Posted by Errol Mcinnes | December 2, 2016, 4:19 am
    • you don’t scare me ass wipe, and I could care less about the Trans or Christian community, my life is not based on a community moron. As far as my wife being forced to detransition, it was done for her kids get it right piece of shit. Don’t you have anything else better to do than to stalk me? Fuck off you tranny chaser, you are a major nut job, now leading a resistance group? What looking to ride my wave again, and you hold my name in the palm of your hand, lol you are narcissistic and diluted.

      Like

      Posted by Mark Angelo Cummings | December 2, 2016, 4:33 am
    • oh and another thing, I welcomed the Christian community because of Lynna, at the time Paul, who was trying to get back into his kid’s life. I am far from religious, I am spiritual, and put my beliefs aside to help her. The Christian community was sad to see us return to our trans identity, but Lynna’s dysphoria was too much for her to bear. So get your facts right, and get out of my face.

      You are a nobody, a sad excuse for a man and human. You are not important, and your pathetic life shows. I can’t stand to look at your ugly mug, or to read your senseless words, so get lost clown.

      Like

      Posted by Mark Angelo Cummings | December 2, 2016, 4:48 am
    • Who in the world do you think you are Errol? No one is ever going to attack the trans community, we have no beef with them at all. No one gaslighted me Errol, where did you come up with that nonsense? This was my honest attempt to reunite with my children, what is it that you do not understand about that fact? There was no soiree, it was an honest attempt for Mark and I to do the right thing by our families. My Christian beliefs had been dear to me for a very time. I thought that I had to do what I had to to be able hug my kids just one more time. This was my last attempt at that. I did not need to do that, we did not need to do that. It was a rabbit trail that lead to nowhere, so we backed off. You have some kind of some kind of sick fascination with Mark for a while now, are you okay Errol? You hold nothing in the palm of your hand but the hand of your girlfriend. Just worry about that Errol, leave us the hell alone. What resistance do you hold against us? We are just a couple with a trans history just trying to live our lives. We do not want into the trans community, we are done with all of that. Just leave is alone, we pose no threat to you and your trans girlfriend.

      Like

      Posted by Lynna Cummings | December 2, 2016, 4:55 am

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