I have been a victim of sexual abuse and harassment all of my life, you would think things would have changed when I transitioned from female to male but sadly they have not. Every time I visit a Gay bar in the past when I was single and or now with my wife, there is always this feeling of being groped or an inappropriate sexual advance being made by gay men in the club or event. I know for a fact that many trans guys have been the victim of rape and have been manhandled when seeking intimacy or love from gay men, and our lack of male socialization leaves us dealing with lots of awkward moments, to say the least.
This Sunday Fort Lauderdale held their Pride Fest on Fort Lauderdale Beach with several DJs and performances by some pretty famous artists. We were excited to go watch Ty Herndon a newly out Christian Country Singer who has some impressive hits out and has won several Grammys. We got their early to get a good spot and waited patiently for the start of the show. The music was blaring, and Lynna started to get nauseous from it, and from all of the excessive sexual energy that was surrounding us. People were sexually explicit as they danced and engaged in primitive instinctual behavior while drinking and having a wild time. Now I am no saint and have had my share of this type of behavior in the past, however, I have never imposed myself on anyone or totally grabbed a complete stranger against their will.
As we waited an older man came up to me out of nowhere and placed his hand inside my shirt, and proceeded to grope me with the other hand, touching my hairy chest as he attempted to remove my shirt. At first, I was in shock and had to process what was taking place when I suddenly pulled his hand out of my shirt and continue to pull him away but to no avail, he would not take no for an answer. Finally, after 20 to 30 seconds of this weird struggle, he finally got the idea and went away. He appeared rather drunk and aloof.
Lynna and I were both in shock and could not believe what just took place, but fluffed it off and were still excited about the upcoming performance from Ty. Well, the show finally started, a bit later than the scheduled time, but Ty proceeded to perform and made his way to the front of the stage where we were standing.
I had not heard about him till a few days before Pride Fest when I googled his name and found a few of his YouTube videos, read about his story and was pretty impressed. He spoke about his Christianity and overall appeared to be a nice guy, so I definitely wanted to support him and show up for the show.
I felt he was trying to make a connection with the crowd since Country Music is not your typical genre in a Pride Fest, so I held my hand up to get a high five, in appreciation for him being there and showing him some love. Well, what happened next left me speechless and shocked. He grabbed my hand and what I thought was a gesture of pulling me up on stage, instead lead to my hand on his crotch, I tried pulling away but he had a good grip on it as he proceeded to move my hand all over his junk. I was appalled and frankly totally turned off. Here is this Country Artist who mind you has already gotten himself in trouble before for indecent exposure, just took the liberty to sexually assault me in front of a bunch of gay men and lesbian women. What would drive a person to do such a thing as if I would want to touch his privates because he is a Country Star? Herndon was charged with indecent exposure and drug possession after he was arrested for allegedly soliciting sex from an undercover male vice officer in 1995 Ty Indecent Exposure Charges. Following the incident in Fort Worth, his sexuality became a topic of interest within the country music industry. Although his rep denied it following his arrest, the speculation came to an end on November 20, 2014, in an interview with People magazine, Herndon came out as a gay man, and stated that he had been in a relationship for a few years with Matt Collum.
To tell you the truth, the more I process what happened yesterday which has triggered a series of feelings inside of me, the angrier I get. Why do some gay men think they have the right to invade people’s personal space and take it upon themselves to grab and touch you without one’s permission? I am totally turned off and frankly saddened, women have had to put up with this behavior for centuries. Men do not have the right to grope and take what they want. Sex is a very spiritual and personal, it should not just be a recreational thing and people’s bodies need to be respected. I was totally violated yesterday, and I will most likely never attend another Pride Fest or gay club again. I think Ty should be held accountable for his actions and to not take it for granted that a possible fan wants their hands on his junk.
We could not capture the initial hand grab, it happened quickly and we were in shock, but as if that was not enough, Ty returns to move his junk on my face. I could not help but laugh, I could not believe what just took place.
After sharing our story on FB, a guy by the name of David Wilkins proceeded to comment on Lynna’s post We believe he might be part of his damage control gang, or why else would he have gone on Lynna’s page and said what he said.
He came in trying to make light of the situation and proceeded to block me when I responded to his attempt of shaming me for saying what I said.
Here is an up and personal view
Till Next Time