Many people like to place everything into a neat little box, everything is seen as black and white and can’t understand the concept that change comes in stages. When we began the detransition process last year and kind of became discouraged with the whole process, as we attempted to change our documentation to our original names and gender, as well as the type of reception we were met by from the community and even by those in our immediate circle, led us to slow things down. But as we progressed in our journey, we realized many important things that many fail to see when they undertake this humongous beast that many are not prepared to deal with in the level needed.
Most people find transition like a new toy, a vice or even an addiction, a numbing agent that calms the pain for a little bit but never really takes care of the true problem. Once you have dealt with the beast for a while, you realize that it is not all that it is cut out to be. There are more losses than gains, painful realization and lots of destruction to be faced with. The initial detransition starts in the mind, then there is breaking the habit, which takes time and a good emotional state. When we took off on our Nomadic Journey, we learned so many things, saw the face of our creator in everything. We received his message and knew we had to move forward with what we had started.
People call us unstable and tend to get offended by the words we choose, however, speaking our truth is important for healing and growth. As far as detransition is concern, there is no such thing, because transition is not real either. Desisting and just moving on to live the real life that we are meant to live is the key. I am a woman, no matter what I did to myself, I have always been a will always be a woman, and my Paul is a man. We will learn how to live life the way it was intended to live and to stop living in a world that society creates based on ego and superficial needs.
Desisting is a much better word than de- transitioning, because we never really transitioned anywhere, just kind of waddle around in the waters thinking we were smarter and greater than God. We give him all the glory, for he had a plan all along.
I understand that many will get turned off by my speaking about God, it is a shame that we have all been programmed to turn away from God, I too included, we understand this, however, we would like to be able to be a wonderful redemption story, to give God the glory, for it is through him that we were able to see our wrong and make things right.